like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
