she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
