I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
