Don't make out with my wife yet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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