how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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