didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
