wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
