soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
