we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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