I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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