Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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