So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
