somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
