He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
