if you like me you must not know who I am
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
