o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
