Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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