would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize