He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
