Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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