it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
