Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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