Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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