She is in my trunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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