i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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