I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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