the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
