Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
