im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
