he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
