I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
