New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
