Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize