My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize