Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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