Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
