you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
