O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
