I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
