Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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