How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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