When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
