So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
