Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
