ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
