i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
