If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
