Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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