He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
