Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
