yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
