I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
