I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
