quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
