$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
