if you like me you must not know who I am
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
