she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
