im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
