Nicole vs. Life
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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