I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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