I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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