hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
