so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
