I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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