i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
